7 Kinds of blogs that will make you stop reading articles

Blogging is officially modern nuisance embraced by all who have access to keyboard and ability to transfer their thoughts and real life situations to printable. You can visualize the bloggers from their looks, dressing, education and intention from the tone of their blog, the most conspicuous factor being their negative writing skills.
I have come across attention seeking blogs, fame hungry blogs, husband/wife fetching blogs, gay blogs, advertising blogs, scum blogs, phonography(juvenile included) blogs , gossip blogs, some I cannot even classify as they teach you how to get fat, be better bitches/pimps, the latest was so gross, that blogger deserves several oscars for that piece, am not wrong in thinking the TV series prison break was his Idea. 

1) Attention Seeker blogs
This is dominated by women at the introductory level, mostly party animals with filthy dirty linen to wash In public, like sour relationships, men they can't date for their calculative reasons (read money, age, physique, of course your family background also determines whether you are datable or not), snatched boy friends, cat fights and all.
Believe me it's dangerous when woman with ugly personality, purchased body and merry-go-round accessories is allowed to use the keyboard. It becomes the platform for her to whine about unromantic men, deadbeat baby daddies, raise cat fights since they are to weak to slap each other maybe the makeup is too expansive to spoil bla bla bla

2) Fame hungry blogs 
No recipe required, find yourself in a quorum of famous people. Friends of friends play a real deal on this, let all your girlfriends or boyfriends get involved with the same person, preferably famous, leak some photos to the social media and there you go.
Before long you will be having interviews with CNN, BBC an so on, before we become conscious of what took you to TV in the first place, you have already turned into a news item. We be looking out for your next controversy, you better check you dressing since your now source of inspiration to the teenagers. Keeping the diary is essential to prove you level of involvement with the tycoons politicians, wealthy business men. Oooops I have seen a statement like " on the 24th October 2012 I confirm having anal sex with honorable member of parliament"
Get some life people!

3) Spouse fetching blogs
Here you reach the peak of maturity. There is no nonsense in this people. Am happy to follow Their pages for my grammar classes, overall punctuation would give that boring English lecturer a run for his money. They are experienced with relationship that there is nothing left for me to teach them, naturally modest. This kind of blogs have the shortest life circle, the metamorphosis is completed between zero to firemen articles. They tend to portray as informative, educative blogs. This is intended for mature men or women who have lost their spouses before whether to people, sickness or death. They are adequately researched before they are posted for your read. If you fail to cry or get emotional over such articles then I will get you some pepper spray to check if your tear cells are working. 
Not after long one of the cry babies (who cry over emotional articles) would have contacted him or her and now the blogging time will be substituted with going out, as the continued silence becomes loud he/she bounces back with a blog
"My wedding invitation, organised by something something bridal"
ADIOS the desires of your heart have been granted!

4) Gossip blogs
Male dominated. What a shame. Here they would be discussing women they cannot have!!!! 
Did I hear an Amen??
Reserve your Amen for when they will photoshop a naked woman with your head on it and share it on your Facebook wall that Amen would come in handy.
Introduction of socialites is big business as I see. Who ever thought you would pay a lump sum to enter an old bar just because some big ass lady will be twerking there that night? Or did we ever think if some two twenty-five year olds are fighting it would be news worthy? Ooh now news papers costs more to advertise than TV ask me why, the newspapers sell more if the entire front page reads "Socialites run over each other AGAIN!"
You wonder what happened to ethical and professional journalism when you are the main sponsor to quarks? You don't need a degree in journalism to practice journalism nowadays. Your better off as a freelancer as long as you are consistent with the gossip, never mind you can lie, it's all about entertainment right? An artist commits suicide because of what was written. Why do they even take our blogs so seriously?

5) Business blogs
Thou shall not mess with this blog, for the arm of law shall catch you.
Tell the national revenue authorities that we hate paying taxes just like they do. Multi million blogs have been born in our midst by ordinary looking men and women. Am yet to learn their tactic as this would be my specialty from now on. I know how to write business proposals one of you should just adopt me. Here you come when you have enough money in the bank, least known to commoners who concentrate on the gossip as above. You need an academic miracle to be conversant with what goes on here, very serious atmosphere, once grey is the base colour in a blog I widen my eyes with the hope that my brain cells would widen as well. If you are not Lamborghini , Apple, Mercedes, Rolex, Virgin Atlantic then stop placing you advertising bid here and go and play with your mates outside!

6) comical blogs
If you wanna feature in a comedy show then start here. Sadly, it's the reality behind entering the comedy industry. Who else finds written comedy boring as compared to watched comedy. I hardly find an inborn comedian with writing ability, but again you must be reduced to a writer first before you really put your skills out for the audience. This is where real talent is wasted as you try to rise up. As you write you cannot conceal your good work from the eagle-eyed useless comedians gracing our TV screens, am with our upcoming comedians on this war no matter my least way of fighting on your behalf.

7) Zero Bloggers
Zero grazing cows! Equipped with an audience but without substance or material to feed to the people.They often behave like prince or princesses who inherit empires they have no clue what it's worth! This are the brats who with one article would scatter an audience of 100K followers! Recyclers of blogs carry from Point A to point B. By the time thy are on their page with stolen material we have to prepare the funeral of the stolen article. It would succumb to lots of accidents on its way, inflated with lies, blown outta proportion like nobody cares! This are the kind of opportunists who are sponsored to black mail. Animosity is developed through them, they form an ideal wrestle ground that would send WWE wrestlomania parking