It doesn't matter where they are, whether in the office, in the accommodation, in the streets, you name it, there are some common things that any Indian you know will do that really binds them together. I am not about to stereotype Indians, am just about to transfer my observation of them from my head to my blog!!!
British/American/Canadian passport versus ten years in Dubai
Give him/her six months of staying Deira before he/she can start telling you they hold a British or American or Canadian passport and have been living in Dubai for ten years. Its almost an automatic phrase that every Indian must learn to feature in all their conversations customarily within their very first quarter of being abroad. An Indian achievements abroad is apparently counted by the number of years they have spent outside of their own country rather than the worth they have garnered, never mind that they acquire ten years experience of living in Dubai even though the passport clearly shows it was issued in 2012 and that was the first time it ever got its onliest immigrations exit stamp and surely the first time to get inside a plane.
Farting is second to bollywood
Every moment could potentially be a farting moment no matter what part of the world they find themselves in. They love music and it would be difficult for me to describe an Indian audio abilities, everything to them is melodic including the free style kind of music that flows freely from their behind. The afternoons are less interesting in the office if not accompanied by farting sounds that ensures each time you shift your bum. They have the right too to loose their mind and say its somebody else, careless of the fact that CCTV cameras captured the farting rhythm that would give Michael Jackson a run for his fame in his/her office just moments ago. Thankfully technology now allows highest resolution images and clear audios. There is nothing wrong with this normal bodily responsibility, it should just not be combined with the concept of bad timing, the effects could be merciless!
They know somebody that knows somebody
If you want to find out how quickly associational relationships can quickly ripen to become a kinfolk's relationship then find yourself an Indian crew. Its fair that I do not stereotype Indians alone as its universal character trait that everybody wants to be associated with the high and mighty, unfortunately, unlike the Indians we cant all manage to insist passionately that somebody is our biological father when we are fully aware that we are not related to that person. They are all related to international figures, celebrities and tycoons in some way, they all have the right to brag personal relationship with anybody they want to so long as its convenient to do so. Beware when they promise to give you help especially if it involves talking to somebody who will talk somebody else.
Look down upon each other
Some have undergone a super distillation process and others have not. We therefore have white Indians and black Indians and this two should not mix. The black are contra-distinguished and don't usually have equal access to resources as the paler skinned or the apparently white! That contradistinction relinquishes the dark skinned in-marriageable to the white unless they are filthy rich and have demonstrated to the in-laws that they are spending proficient. I apologize for not using vocabularian terminologies or allegoric figures of speech in this description, I really intend for them to understand that they are not different from each other and I need the most basic english explanation to accommodate my audience.
To be offensive now or later?
An average Indian is not afraid to be confronted. You get offended in return you get a silly laughter or two offensive words. To upset you or not is a mathematical equation where they don't have to know or to apply the right formula. In this case you are the examiner or the offense beneficiary is you. I mean how irresistible is it to steal somebody's phone and go through their messages and photos/videos? Trust me, an Indian, specifically the male specie is most vigilant awaiting the chance to steal your phone and go through your whatsapp chats and not even blink if you catch them red handed, that silly laughter I talked about earlier is put into use at this point.
Phone Etiquette
I don't blame anybody on this since there is no dedicated training on telephone mannerisms once you enter abroad. I just don't understand why it's vital to most of them that every time they are on the phone every person around them is part of the conversation or is atleast made aware of their super awesome social life. They shout enough over telephone sessions, it could hurt sometimes. Networks is to blame for the high volumes with which you answered the phone, you could also blame the network for inviting me to analyze how you have firmly you clutched the phone in your hands without failing to notice the tacky dressing. If your still aspire to improve your social standing then lower volume, it's the way to go.
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