Your Nairobi, Your Choice

A leader doing something stupid, saying something unusual, wearing the wrong thing, being from the wrong place, being in the wrong place when suddenly everything changes. The essence as seen is always strange and often character-driven. Men and women have exploited their capacity for humor and that has augmented the power of their work considerably since they all are now certified analysts of negative developmental outcomes. Query on economic sustainability and administrative dysfunction was limited to magazine columns and a few weekly bulletins aired by unbwogable T.V stations, it was something to talk about on college campuses and family get-togethers but now my its instant, organic, and conclusive on Twitter accounts and Facebook statuses. Everybody is a comedian just because failures are funnier than success!

Once upon  a prominent city both politically and financially, and home to thousands of businesses and hundreds of major international companies and organizations, this city was principally concerned with education, public health, town planning, roads and street lighting, police forces, water, electricity, politics and many more. These functions were entrusted to men and women of low caliber, and from their output, an opportunity never occurred to write city’s success story, which would have been a very sad story.

Negative developmental Outcomes Senior Analyst

Politics, however, seem to be the singular area where complete stupidity is treated with utmost seriousness and LOL statements are spoken with utter conviction. Yes politics is inherently funny, it has acquired its own genre of humour based on assumption is that its participants really appreciate it. Politics used to be something that you laughed at, now it's something that you can agree or disagree with-ferociously. It used to be something that lightened the mood, now it's something that states your belief and your political allegiance. It's darker, edgier, more direct, less sympathetic, considerably more dangerous, and extremely fun. The reason is simple. We are no longer laughing at politicians for doing funny things, we are laughing at politicians for being themselves.

Women make fun of regional politicians because of their insensitivity in the wake of tragedies affecting women, young people target the entire Government with jokes after they themselves have been targeted with hot water and tear gas, our youngest ministerial candidates are mostly made fun of by young people. Its funnier when the speaker doesn’t speak, we laugh at their senselessness, we laugh even harder at the apology. The senator is funny not because of the last thing he said, but because we do not remember it. We have enjoyed and laughed for long, now we are all professional laughers.

We obtusely laugh when moral decay gets married to sexism and procreate publicly. We ensure video evidences of each sporadic attack on women. Undressing women is now national splendor, I suggest we go out naked maybe we’ll be less vulnerable to assault which we verily need aside from our poverty and multiple risk factors. Ooh publish more high resolution videos, tag faces of the people you know and let the authorities condemn the acts on social media, this could potentially restore public trust in our systems.

That city is a box, with industrial growth, living standards of people rising and consumption rates incredibly multiplying, Moving becomes impossible. Providing efficient and reliable transport solutions to the people would be an over-expectation from a system preoccupied with selfies and social media. Rightly or wrongly we have accustomed to infrastructural malfunctions, we love falling off from the top of the train trying to avoid paying the fare that we don’t even have, slit our paper houses to get even with that cruel landlord, the public van must be overloaded otherwise traffic police will starve to death? Effortlessly we have synchronized the interest of commuters, traffic police, touts and other motorists as our only participation in the decision making process. This is humourous!

The crust left of tourism makes me shy to identify with this one time tourism powerhouse. Disappearance of wildlife from the game reserves, replacement of sandy beaches with sick bitches all bearing pricy disease menus, rests a population with destructive behaviors, and ethnic stratification. The worst thing about being from this city is having other people from this city recognize that you are from this city, this automatically deletes you off the sanity list!

This capital is on a trajectory that will leave it virtually with no formal jobs in the near future. The upward social mobility is choked with greed, misappropriation of national resources, terroristic activities and so on. Al-shabab has signed an agreement to be al-shababing week in week out, downsizing the dense population and embarrassing our administrative figures who retaliate by murdering them on social media. You see! You will die till you learn your lesson. Avenues for the realization of productive human potential and opportunities are dominated by a handful of comedians, Read politicians.

Our religious space is under attack! Each time there is an bang, even a tire burst, a specific religious sect is suspected. With pastors’ fond of touching women’s breast in church, we already know who should be rewarded for their devoted efforts in undressing women. This entirely spiral up together in a vicious circle that hurts both comedians and non-comedians, we seem to be dealing with a hundred problems constantly. At this point association with this city is nothing but utter pain. Some people give up and flee to foreign land, which makes my city among world leaders in foreigners’ exportation.

Sports and outdoor activities is now institution for pornographic training and martial arts, if you son does not return home from watching a football match, then it’s safe to assume he collided with a carnival who swallowed his ear, maybe he quickly became a hooligan so the police killed him, my only advice to our youth is not to be there when death happens then wait for the politicians to pay tribute, this marks the humour climax. I told you people its hard to change of low caliber.

We should learn from others mistakes since we cant live long enough to repeat them all, "mistakers" surprisingly have their clear conscience, thats a sure sign of bad memory. They are not even aware of the mistakes they have made. I give up!