Dubai, World's Saddest City

   Toast to all those who ever  told you Dubai is awesome place when they have been there and fled to other gulf countries, like Qatar, Oman, Bahrain and so on. The actual wonderful life and the seeming glamour is what you read on magazines and see on T.V.

  

  Am still fascinated by the glassy shinny percentage of buildings in this town, that I haven't fixed schedule to visit the man-made islands, the artificial ozone layer, world’s tallest this, world’s largest that, world’s most amazing those, world’s  smallest this…….. I have been caught up with extremity in virtually everything that happens here including sadness. Yes sadness!

  This marks the only time in my life that my heart, body, soul and mind have unanimously agreed that Dubai could be World’s saddest city. The only true friend biggest percentage of the people have  is their mobile phone and of course the ear/headphone. Customarily everybody must look sad at all times, not talk to each other, laughing loudly especially among  women is uncultured if not unacceptable. You need to greet people thrice twice before they can acknowledge. Its in that metro that would be thoroughly full and squeezed, if you step on someone don’t even bother saying sorry, it would be highly unusual even to the person your saying sorry to. The common site is miserable and tired looking people with dried lips and often dusty and bad shoes. The temperature in the metro is extremely cold while outside its like 100degrees

  This country prides itself so much on its glitz and glamor that it put a picture of its 7-star hotel on the license plate. Yet, the public toilets in the king-of-bling Gold Souk district are holes in the ground with no toilet paper or soap. Hoses to rinse your nether regions, however, are provided. This results in a mass of water on the floor that you must stand in to pee. Try squatting without touching anything and keeping your pants from touching anything either since the temperature feels like 100degrees here too.

  Businesses are encouraged to hire people from other poor countries to come here and work. They have them sign contracts that are a decade long and then take their passports, I don’t get surprised any more when a twenty-four year old tells me they have been working in Dubai for ten years and in the same company that they hate everything about, they never went back home once and of course they don’t call regularly because not everybody is welcome to call using that monopolized, analog mobile service provided by the providers. These poor people are promised a certain pay, but the companies neglect to tell them they will be deducting their cost of living from their paychecks, leaving them virtually penniless – that is, if they choose to pay them. Companies hold back paychecks for months at a time. When the workers strike as a result, they are jailed, why? Protesting is illegal, you see! These people will never make enough to buy a ticket home and even if they do, they do not have their passports. They live crammed in portables with tons of others, in highly unsanitary conditions.

  That hotel being built next door should cost more to stay in for one night than its employees will make semi-annually. People are so sad that number of laborers are willing to throw themselves in front of cars because their death would bring their family affluence in the form of diya, blood money paid to the victim’s family as mandated by the government, which reminds me of the guy I would have married, he just threw himself from the window of the 16^th floor the other day, rumours doing rounds along Sheikh Zayed road is that he was American, tall, schooled about 35 years and divorced. With this death, the reason why am still single has been explained above.

  Things are not cheaper here. I’m sick of people saying that. I read the letters to the editor page of the paper and people say to those who complain about the cost of living rising here, “Well, it’s cheaper than your home country or you wouldn’t be here.” The only thing cheaper here is labor. Yes, you can have a maid – but a bag of washed lettuce will cost you almost $10. Ooh to be fair the metro is really cheap, this is also where I met my phone friends and earphones friends, yes my same friends that you need to greet three times before they acknowledge, my one and only metro that I jump into when I need to experience the winter.

  Speeding is an Emirati sport and Emirates Road is just an extension of the Dubai Autodrome. I know I will be mentioning the roads, but really, much of this city’s issues are encompassed by the erratic and irrational behavior displayed on its streets. Visions of flashing lights on even flashier, limo-tinted SUVs haunt me daily. Locals are somehow able to get the sun-protecting dark window tint denied to lowly ex-pats and use it to hide their faces as they tailgate you incessantly at unbelievably high speeds, their lights flickering on and off and horn blaring repeatedly. It doesn’t matter that you can’t get over, or if doing so would be particularly dangerous, they will run you off the road to get in front of you. Don’t even think about giving someone the finger; the offense could land you in jail. Tailgating is, unbelievably, legal. And coming to think of it I have not quite interacted with a local, it’s particularly allowed that you interact with them by admiring their flashy cars and crazy driving innuendos  

 People stare at you. I am sick of being stared at. I’m stared at as if men never saw tall black woman before, or who think we are all prostitutes so it’s okay to stare. If there was a staring competition, selecting the winner would be harder than it is in selecting the American Idol. It’s beyond creepy and has brought me to tears on more than one occasion. The staring is not limited to men, either. I’m stared at angrily by female prostitutes who think I am running in on their territory, another good reason why you only find me in the metro.

 Prostitutes? Oh hell yes, there are prostitutes. Tons of them. So, let me get this straight, I can’t look at a naked picture of a person on the Internet in the privacy of my home, but it is okay to go out in public and buy a few for the night? A conservative Eastern Africana like me now is informed that there is a “gay one night stand” corners of this town, hahaha and they parade like oh my God, and it quite pricier than the real thing, and this starts happening before its dark.

  The taxi driver, here for only two days, and having learned English of “big problem coming” has no clue where your house is. He won’t tell you that of course, aside from being maybe dangerous and smelly. He’ll just keep calling and saying, “Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah.” When you purchase something that requires delivery they do not have an address line, but a box where you are expected to draw a map. Not able to draw a map? Explain like this: I live on the street after the airport road, but before the roundabout. Go past the mosque and make a U-turn! The taxi drivers also work very hard here to earn a living because travel by taxi is still relatively inexpensive, even though the cost of living is not. You may have a driver who has had little sleep or the opportunity to shower for several days. Many of these drivers have just as much difficulty finding their way around as you do, but add to this a third-world country driving style and extreme exhaustion and, well, remember to buckle up for safety. The roads are horribly designed. Driving half an hour out of the way to make a U-turn is not uncommon. People are not able to give directions most of the time. Where is interchange four? You just have to hope you got on the freeway in the right place and start counting because they are not numbered. Miss it and you’ll likely end up on the other side of town before you are able to turn around and go back.

Alcohol can only be sold in hotels and a handful of private clubs. A person must own a liquor license to consume in the privacy of their own home. To obtain a liquor license you must get signed approval from your boss, prove a certain level of salary that determines how much you are allowed to buy, and then submit several mug shots (aka passport photos) for approval. Pay the fee and the additional 30% tax on every purchase and you may drink at home. Then again, you can just pick up a few bottles in the airport duty free on your way in to the country, but two is the max. I quit drinking though I still have the right to intervene on behalf of drinkers.

  Dubai is far from environmentally friendly, am still fascinated by the man-made Islands that for sure are harming the coral reefs, sea grasses, and oyster beds that were once part of protected marine lands lie choked under a barrage of dredged up sea sand. Consider the waste that occurs from erecting buildings on top of these sand monsters and from the people that occupy them coupled with the lack of an effective recycling program? That’s your recipe for an environmental disaster. The need for 24-hour powerful air-conditioning, gas guzzling SUVs than fuel-efficient cars? I don’t need more examples as the environment is yet to feature in the Dubai priority list.

  My consolation it that there are few trees, plants, and grass – or living things aside from us crazy humans, for that matter. Ever see a bird pant? I have. In my opinion, human beings were not meant to live in such a place. If we were, there would be sufficient water and shade. The only greenery around are the roadside gardens planted by the government, who waters the hell out of them in the middle of the day. Thanks a lot! Didn’t you say we should cut down on our water consumption because you are unable to keep up with the demand? I have an idea: let’s all move to someplace where if you look to the wind for relief, it is the equivalent of pointing a hairdryer on full blast directly at your face, or where the 100% humidity would make you feel like you are drowning, even good swimmers face challenge with this one!

  Back to that alcohol craziness in solidarity with my drinking friends, the easiest way to go home before finishing your contract is to get deported. You only need to smell like alcohol, you don’t even need to drink it, pour alittle on yourself and you are good to go, remember my friends who will never make enough money to buy their ticket home? Those ones who have signed a decade long contract and nothing can get them out of that contract other than time? This is their recent strategy to return back home. Give any hint of alcohol and any taxi driver has the right to submit you to the police station, since it’s a violation of the religious values additionally ex-pats are not allowed to corrode morals of the nationals. Bytheway to obtain a liquor license was equally crazy, but you must also get the company’s approval to rent property, have a telephone, or get satellite TV.

So while I’m sure there are benefits to living in Dubai, tax breaks, multi-cultural environments, and beautiful glassy buildings aside, reconsider your plans to move here if any of the above mentioned reasons strikes a chord within you. Dubai is a city caught in an identity crisis. Struggling somewhere between its desire to be a playground for the rich and its adherence to traditional Islamic roots, rests a city that lacks sufficient infrastructure to support its delusions of sumptuousness. Visit if you must, but leave quickly before you are sucked into its calamitous void.